Filed by The Dude on Sunday, May 17, 2026 — a satirical filed report from the newsdesk. [Parody]
MIAMI, FL — Kendall Reeves, 29, was jailed Saturday after allegedly trying to smuggle 11 cans of White Claw aboard a Carnival cruise hidden inside a silicone prosthetic pregnancy belly at the Port of
MIAMI, FL — Kendall Reeves, 29, was jailed Saturday after allegedly trying to smuggle 11 cans of White Claw aboard a Carnival cruise hidden inside a silicone prosthetic pregnancy belly at the Port of Miami. According to the police report, Reeves arrived at the terminal in a flowing maternity dress, rubbed her stomach repeatedly while clearing the line, and only drew attention when the X-ray scanner "lit up like a vending machine." Responding officers say they found: - A silicone pregnancy belly loaded with 11 chilled White Claws - A second smaller prosthetic in her tote labeled "twin" - A printed "doctor's note" she had made herself in Times New Roman - A list of cravings that included "mango, black cherry, and watermelon" - A baby name list later identified as the full flavor lineup A port worker told police Reeves had complained the baby was "very active and very carbonated." "She informed us she was 'eight months along, give or take a six-pack,'" said Miami-Dade Officer Hector Salinas. "She asked if the cans could still board if the belly stayed behind." The silicone belly was logged into evidence and declined to comment. Reeves was charged with attempting to bring prohibited items aboard and released Sunday. She reportedly asked officers whether the cruise line "rescheduled for late-term passengers." She tried to bring eleven kids and a buzz to sea. The belly cleared the dress. It didn't clear the scanner. Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026. #funny #comedy #fblifestyle #satire #FORENTERTAINMENTONLY
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